Fanfiction Connoisseur

Author's Note; Fluff about be being an grammer halk and tolerant yet picky reader. Completely true story. Absolute waste of five minutes of your time. You have been warned.

...

A girl sits at a computer, frantically pounding on the screen with her fist and screaming, "Commas! Why don't you Believe in commas?!" After awhile she ceases her tanrum and continues reading with a distant look on her face. Every so often she would say "Add a comma," and read on. At one point during her reading she pumped her fist into the air and shouted, "They're recovering! If I'm not mistaken, that is a comma!" she continued reading but in another moment the grin faded from her face. "Okay, grammatically that ought to be a period. On the bright side, though, they have proved that their keyboard has a comma key!"

In another ten minutes the lifeless expression drains form her face. She cringes, then smiles, then pouts, as if to test her range of emotions lest she forget how to use them. "That kind of sucked. And I didn't read the last three paragraphs, because didn't make any sense and nothing was happening. And the... commas," she says the last word ominously, as if speaking of something dreadful. A few rapid clicks of the mouse and her blank expression returns as she moves onto the next one.

Shortly, however, she makes a face of pure disgust. One would think she might be repulsed by something vulgar she was reading, but her friends will deny that to be the case. "For the love of God, woman, capitalize your i's!" She says it with the same connatation as someone scolding someone for not being properly dressed. She seems to realize this, because she says, "I sound like my teacher. You know, the way she says improper fraction like it were a personal insult." The girl looks at her lamp, then at the sleeping tabby on her bed, then back at the lamp. It looks like she can't decide who she's talking to.

"I wonder," she muses out loud, "If anyone else reads fanfiction as vocally as me?"