"Pros and Cons of Being Robbie", Chapter Two

I'm actually a little embaressed about this chapter, because my shounen-ai tendencies are begining to show. I do think it's pretty realistic, though, because kids are always doing weird things like getting 'married'. I think I followed the thought-process of an eight-year old boy well enough to pull this off but if anyone thinks I flunked it, please speak up. I do love critique, I swear I don't bite.

Or you can read it on my fictionpress account, which loads really. really. frickin. slowly. So if it's not there, it will be eventually.

(And you canNOT say that I'm making my little boy characters gay, because I will insist to my dying days that no matter what I make happen later, this. doesn't. count. Okay.)

...

"Pros and Cons of Being Robbie"
by Carmen Aistrup
Chapter 2: Fifty Cent Proposal

"When did you get married, mom?" Robbie asked his mom, who was sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee while he flipped through a scrapbook on the living room floor.

The scrapbooks have lived on the bottom shelf of the entertainment center for as long as Robbie could remember. He always thought they looked like spellbooks that you would find in an ancient Egyption temple, or pyramid, or something. They were almost scary, but Robbie would never be scared by books.

"Lets see... three years before I had you... I was twenty-six," his mom replied. He looked up at her. She appeared deep in thought. "Long time time ago."

"Yeah," said Robbie. "I miss dad."
His mom nodded. "I do too," she said, and Robbie was surprised. Well, obviously his mom missed her husband, but he had never thought about how his mom felt. He felt bad for her, but at the same time it was nice to know he wasn't alone.

"Oh, those are the wedding pictures, aren't they? Bring it over," his mom said, startling Robbie out of his train of thought.

He brought the book over obediantly and sat down beside his mom. They looked at the pictures together, rarely saying anything, but it was a comfortable silence.

Robbie noticed that his parenst looked happy in every picture. He supposed it must be wonderful to get married, because it would be like being able to watch your favorite show ALL the time instead of only on Wednesdays, or an lifetime supply of your favorite cereal.

"Do you have to be old to get married?" Robbie asked, and his mom laughed. Robbie blushed. "What's funny?" he demanded.

"Nothing. It's just that twenty-six isn't considered old by adult standards. But no. You don't have to be old, you don't even have to be twenty-six, but it helps. It also helps to get the permision of your spouse's parents, which I almost wasn't able to do."

Robbie was stunned. "Why?"

"I was a lot different when I was younger. I was pretty strange... I had some strange hobbies and ideas. And I wanted to travel. And they thought Howard... your dad-"

"I know his name, I'm not a baby," Robbie interrupted.

"Sorry, Rob. I know. Anyways, they thought he was too young for marriage. I was twenty-six but he was only twenty-two."

"That's old," Robbie said matter-of-factly. "Anyways, you don't need them to let you get married. When you're older than eighteen you can do whatever you want."

"I know," his mom said, "But it makes it easier. I wanted his family to like me and treat me like one of them. And they did, eventually."

"How did you change their minds?" Robbie asked, fascinated.

His mom smiled. "I told them that it was okay. If Howard was too young, I would wait. If I was too different, I would change. If I had to spend my Tokyo trip travel money on their grandchildren's college fund, I would do it in a heartbeat. And then they said, go ahead. No waiting neccesary."

"But why?"

"Because I was going to be a good wife and mother, and they could tell. That's all I needed to do," she said. "And now... hey... what's happening... oh no! I think mean mom is coming back!"

Robbie gasped. "No, not mean mom!" He didn't really mean it. It was just part of the game. His mom seemed to puff herself and roared like a loose gorilla. "Bed time, Robbie!" she bellowed. "You'd better get in your room before I WHOOP your butt! Now SCOOT!"

Robbie shrieked in pretend fear and ran down the hall, chased by his mother.

"WHHHHAAAAARRRRRRR!" Robbie laughed as he swerved right into his room and dove into the bed. He hid under his covers and peered out.

It was a tradition they had perfected nearly every bedtime for the past three years. His mom pretended to collapse in the doorway, panting. "What... what happened...?" she said.

She stood up and looked at Robbie, who was still under the blanket. "What a good boy, already in bed at bedtime!"

Robbie giggled. His mom blew him a kiss and Robbie reached out his hand from under the blanket and pretended to catch it. "Good night, Robbie," she said.

"G' night, mom," he said. His mom switched off the light and shut the door. Robbie's automatic nightlight sprung to life. He always hid it under the bed when he had company, and he didn't really need it, but it was comfortable.

He shifted over onto his side and thought about marriage. Robbie wanted to get married. He'd learned quite a bit about marriage from television and decided that he could pull it off just fine. He already knew that he wanted to marry Jack, so he didn't have to date or anything.

He knew that usualy boys married girls, but he had seen a show once called 'First Comes Love' where two guys got married. Anyways, it was probably better. Just love and none of the yicky baby making stuff. And, although he knew better, he couldn't repress the thought that girls had cooties and he probably wouldn't get any cooties from kissing Jack.

He tried to think about it more, but then he fell asleep.

...

Two weeks later, Robbie was trying to run all the way to Jack's house, but it was over three blocks away and he was tired by the second block. He had wanted to hurry because today was very important. He was going to propose.

He wad waited two whole weeks because he'd needed to buy a ring. Every week, when his mom took him grocery shopping, she gave him a quarter to buy a gumball form the candy and toy dispensers. So instead of spending his quarter last week he'd saved it, and this week he bought a ring from the fifty cent ring machine.

He'd taken it out of the plastic bubble because it made it look cheap. That wasn't true; fifty cents was no sum to sneeze at, as Robbie's mom would say.

He finally got to Jack's house and bounced up the porch steps. He banged on the metal screen door, because the other door was always open during the day and the doorbell had been broken since Jack and his family moved in.

Thunder of socked feet from inside the house. Jack sock-slid the last few feet to the door and threw it open with a bang and a grin. Jack had a grin that most adults would think of as the perfect little boy's smile, wide and sincere.

Robbie grinned back. Robbie did not have the perfect little boy's smile. His smile made his nose wrinkle a little bit, and no matter how much time he spent trying to fix it with a mirror, one side out his mouth always went up higher than the other.

"Hi! I rented the Mario game again. We can play later. Hey, why are you here so early? It's before breakfast!"

"Got something important to ask," explained Robbie.

Robbie heard Jack's mom shout from the kitchen, "Robbie, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me!" Robbie yelled back.

"I'll make you some eggs, too. Do you like scrambled?"

"Yes!"

"Come in so I dont have to shout," she replied.

So Robbie went inside. He and Jack went down the hallway and stopped in the kitchen doorway. "Good morning, Mrs. Phillips, ma'am," said Robbie, very politely. He wanted to be on Jack's mom's good side, and although he thought he already was, he just wanted to be safe.

"Why, aren't you Mr. Polite this morning? Well, you and Jack go play. I'll call you when breakfast is ready."

Robbie was relieved. He could be polite, but it was hard for him and anyways it sounded like Jack's mom was teasing him. Adults are meaner than kids because you could never be sure if an adult's teasing you or not. Sometimes it just seems like it, and sometimes they are and you don't even know.

In Jack's room, the both jumped onto the twin bed and bounced a couple of times before settling down, old bedsprings creaking nervously back into place. Robbie leaned against the wall while Jack leaned over the gap to the tv shelf, fiddling with wires to get his Gamecube plugged back in.

"Hey Jack?"

"Yeah?" said Jack, still messing with the Gamecube.

"Have you ever thought about marriage?" Robbie asked, tentatively. "Like, getting married, maybe."

Jack sat back, apparently satisfied with the octopus of wires. Robbie watched as the game's start screen appeared with some cheerful music, but Jack made no move for the controller. Robbie was glad to have his friend's undivided attention, at last.

"Nah, not really. Why?"

Robbie was nervous. He picked at the blanket he was sitting on. "Will you marry me?" he blurted out, before he lost his nerve.

He wondered if it was going to be like one of those sad movies where the other person said no. He wondered what heartbreak felt like, but he didn't wonder too much. He didn't want to know. The long silence made him worry more. Oh, this is it, he thought. He's gonna say no! "Jack?" he coaxed quietly.

"Yes!" Jack cried, and the next thing Robbie knew, Jack was hugging him. Robbie laughed, relieved. He felt like saying thanks, but nobody did that in movies.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Robbie said, and dug into his pocket. He pulled out the ring and put it on Jack's finger. It didn't fit on his ringfinger, but it was perfect on his thumb. It was probably the best ring in the machine, Robbie thought boastfully, except for maybe the fancy ring in the middle of the display that nobody ever got.

It was a silver band with a little pink stone in it. It was simple but nice. Robbie hoped Jack wouldn't think it was too girly.

But apperently he didn't, or if he did he didn't care, because he leaned over and kissed Robbie on the cheek. Robbie was stunned, but happy, and embaressed. He blushed.

"Boys! Breakfast's ready!"

They both hopped off of the bed and ran out to eat. Because Robbie didn't know what was expected of people who where engaged, other than have the wedding, he and Jack just played video games for the the rest of the morning. And that was alright, because Robbie liked video games.